My week so far....

*****This post is abnormally long and quite possibly very dull to the reader (a.k.a. Emily). Don't feel like you have to read it if you don't want. It was really just a way for me to think through some things in my head.*****

This week has by far been the most boring this summer. I'm still waiting for something fun to happen. hm. maybe tomorrow....

Although I've been bored out of my mind, I have been very productive this week. I mean, not anything huge, but small things. I have a list that I'm supposed to complete before the end of summer that I've put off doing for a while that I'm finally getting around to doing this week for lack of something better/more interesting to do. Things like college applications and actually taking the time to practice. I told my teacher I'd practice at least 3 or 4 times A WEEK and I have now (as of today), practiced 3 times. Total. She'll kill me. Oh well.

As for the college applications, it's starting to hit my how fast college is coming. Even for my friends moving away this year it just hit my like two days ago that they're really going. Like, in 2 weeks. All summer it has felt so far away and now it's almost here. People I've grown up with all my life are moving away and starting new lives. As excited for them that I am, I'm also being selfish and wishing they'd stay. I know I sound pathetic. I mean, I'll still talk to my friends that are leaving, but I won't see them at school and around town anymore. It's going to be different..... and I don't usually like change so this is going to be a big adjustment. I seriously rely on my friends for a lot. Probably too much actually. Anyway, I sound like an idiot rambling on about people leaving for college. It's not like I'll never see them again.

Anyway, about my own college plans I've been narrowing down the list and I only have about 8 schools on it now, most of which are within a couple of hours of Chattanooga. Lately I've been busy working on my transcript and working on applications which is taking FOREVER. My goal is to have Covenant, Hope, Belmont and Queen's applications submited by the time school starts..... Right now that's not looking likely, but we'll see.

There has been one definite positive thing that has come from this week. This summer I've slacked on reading my Bible and spending time with the Lord. I've spent WAY more time with friends than with Him and I've recently realized what a mistake that has been. I mean, I've read my Bible and prayed this summer, but not NEARLY like I should be. For some reason this week God has really been working on my heart and reminding me to get back in His word.

I find that when I book my schedule all the way during the summer that I spend very little time focusing on Him which is a HUGE mistake. The last couple of weeks especially I've been stressed and irritable. I had been trying to figure out (besides the obvious: college, school, end of summer) why I've been so tense. I still don't know why, but I feel it was God's way to get me back on track. Since the beginning of this week I've been in His word a LOT more and I've felt such a peace that I haven't felt in a couple of weeks. It's amazing how God has been working in my life lately. Nothing that would be obvious to others, but little things in my life have been changed. I'm actually ready for school to start back so I can get back on a schedule reading my Bible and having my time with the Lord more regularly. That has been my biggest mistake this summer, which I didn't realize until this week. Looking back I regret not spending nearly as much time with Him over the last couple of months. I've been wondering how many ways He could have used me this summer..... were there opportunities I missed because I wasn't paying attention to what He wanted for me? I've been so selfish with my time this summer and I wish I could go back and change that. Not that this summer hasn't been good, cause it has been the best one ever (no joke)! But I feel like it could have been so much more than my own selfish pleasures..... I could have been doing something MORE with my free time that I wasted on facebook or organzing beads (yeahhhh....).

So, in conclusion, I guess having a week of nothing has been good for me. God knew that I needed this week of no friends so He could have my full attention to work in my life. As the school year is about to begin, I'm looking forward to seeing what ways He wants to use me in school, church, home, or wherever I am. I'm also excited to see what He has planned for me in the next few years. I have NO idea where he wants me although I feel like it's becoming more clear (there again I'll have to work on listening to what He wants and not what I want). I still have a LONG way to go..... It's not like I'm totally changed over one week, but I feel like this week has been very much needed.

Anyway, I've rambled on enough for now. I didn't write all of this to make it sound like I have it all figured out or that I'm a Super Perfect Christian (for one, those don't even exist). I wrote it mostly for my own sake. Writing things out helps me to think about things and really work through what's in my head. So if this blog post makes absolutely NO sense to you, I'm sorry. Actually, if you've made it this far reading, I'm amazed. haha :)

Until next time,

Saranade

P.S.

Here are a few verses that I have really popped out and spoken to me this week:

"Conduct yourselves wisely toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."

Colossians 4:5-6

(That one REALLY stuck out at me. That's when I realized how much time I've wasted this summer when I could have been doing something productive for Christ.)

"But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and ahve put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peave of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

Colossians 4:8-17

(I'm really going to strive to make my life as much like this passage possible.)

".... so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing in him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God."

Colossians 1:10

"But I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."

Galatians 5:16

"Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

Galatians 6:1b-2

(This verse made me think about how fortunate I am to have Christian friends I can really talk with about the struggles in my life.)

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."

Galatian 6:9-10

So obviously I've spent most of my time studying Colossians and Galatians this week so far. Paul's espitles are some of my favorite books of the Bible. For being such short books they're FULL of instruction and teaching. To me they seem to be some of the deepest books of the Bible.... especially Ephesians which I think I'm going to study again next.

Wow. I can't believe how much I've written this time. Again, It's not necessarily for the reader but more for me to really think through. If you're still reading *cough cough Emily* (cause you're the only one who reads this anyway. hahaha) then I'm impressed. But if you skipped to the end, that's totally fine. I pretty much talked about myself the entire time.

P.P.S.

I really miss my friends. Emily, Anna, Peri-------COME HOME NOW!