One week down...

It's the end of the first week of school..... my senior year. eep! I survived the week. Barely.

The work load itself isn't that bad so far. However, two of my classes havne't even started yet (Comp 1 and Music Appreciation at Chatt State). I guess I shouldn't be complaining about school.... The teachers are great, I have classes with several of my friends, and the work load isn't too bad. But there seems to be something missing. Excitement? Fun? I don't know what it is. Usually the first week I'm all excited about classes starting because of all the new people I've met and all the new things I'll be doing that year. This year it's a little different. I know all the people in my classes and I'm doing the same activities as the years passed. I know God wants me where I'm at so obviously He has a purpose for all of this. Right now I'm just a little confused as to what that is. I feel like something is greatly lacking. I thought my schedule would be jammed packed of places to go, but right now it pretty much looks the same each day: class, *insert coffee house or book store here*, then class again.

I've decided I complain entirely too much. An unhealthy amount. I make my life sound like it's horrible when it's really not. I need to start magnifying the positive points in my life instead of all the negative. I think I shall try that next time. I would try now but my brain doesn't feel like working and in all honesty I can't think of a whole lot of good.

Oh! Wait! I can think of something good! The Bible study I'm in with some girls from Covenant Pres. is really good! We meet at Emily's house every Friday to discuss the book Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper. This was only the second week, but I've really enjoyed it so far! All the girls (myself inclued), are still pretty quiet so the discussion is still pretty limited, but you can tell we're all getting more comfortable! Emily does a great job leading it. She talked a little today on Philippians 1:20-21 which really spoke to me. I have all of these goals for my life and a list of things to do before I die, but maybe that's not what God wants? I should go ahead and surrener my selfish desires and give into what He wants for me..... as hard as that might be.

So that's going to be one of my goals right now: to become less selfish and more focused on what Christ wants. *sigh* This could be a long journey. Selfisheness has always been one of my weaknesses....

Anyway, this is all for now. I have a headache and actually kinda sleepy.... *gasp!* It's not even 2 AM yet! Oh well.

-Saranade

From Pool to School (cheesy)

Okay, today is the last day of Summer break for me. *sigh* It's over. Unfortunately. But I'm really excited about this school year! Yeah, it's going to be weird not having Micah, Anna, or Jacqui here, but it'll still be awesome! I mean come one, I'M A SENIOR!!!!!

A few minutes ago I finished reading a letter I wrote to myself at the beginning of the summer. Some of the stuff I talked about in there made me laugh.... It's funny how much things change in just a few months..... Things that seemed so important then seem so uninportant now. It makes me wonder what I'll be thinking about my life a year from now or even after college. It just reminds me how small my problems are. As I get older I realize how small I am in the scope of things. What are my problems drama problems in comparison with the orphans in Africa or slaves around the world? Absolutely nothing.

So to get started in school on the right foot, I spent the afternoon organizing my room. I cleaned out my bookshelves and drawers to make room for new school books and other random junk I really probably don't need..... In the process of all of this I got caught up in an old box of stuff that contains random things from the past 5 years or so. Things like a few random pictures, notes passed in class, cards from friends, and other small things I wanted to save. As I was going through the box I came across random items that brought back so many memories I had almost forgotten. I sat in my room for a good hour or two just laughing at some of the times I've had with my friends. Everyday I realize just how much they mean to me. I have been truly blessed with Christian friends who support me in my faith and in everything I need support in. Thank you guys! Oh! another bonus in cleaning out my room today: I found $138.oo in cash and checks I had forgotten about. haha :) I guess cleaning pays off..... literally (lameeeeee.....sorry).

Another perk to the day today was that I got to see my friend Micah! Only for [literally] 2 minutes at church, but it was better than nothing! Ah. I miss my college friends! I'm glad they're all loving the college life though!

So, it has been GORGEOUS the last couple of days. The days have been cool with low humidity and the nights have been crisp with bright stars. I think I might go enjoy the rest of the evening outside on the roof.... It seems like the perfect way to say goodbye to summer------at least until next year. ;)

Well, I guess this is all for now. Hopefully my next post won't be so sentimental (I say that every time though....).

And we shed what was left of our summer skin....

This evening marked the end of my summer break. Sorta. I mean, I still have next week off, but the rest of my college friends leave next week.

Last night was the first annual Vattaroo Music Festival at Emily's house. We spent yesterday evening listening to AMAZIGN MUSIC, roasting marshmellows around a bonfire, playing games and talking. Then we layed our sleeping bags on the deck and slept outside under the stars which was WONDERFUL.

This morning the festivities resumed with [more] AMAZING MUSIC. The day was altogether the PERFECT summer day. We played water games (drip, drip, drop), threw green jellow at each other, and TYE DYED!!!!! It was all amazing. Inbetween these events, we layed sprawled on the grass listening to the music and talking. At the end of the day as the festivities were winding down, Emily ran over to Micah's precious amp and changed the song to Summer Skin by Death Cab. All of us almost cried. It was the mark of an ending (as cheesy as that sounds....). But it's true. This time next year I'll be packing for college (scary). Me, Bethany and Jamie they're seniors too), were all a little depressed by the whole idea of leaving behind all of THIS *waves hands in the air* to move off to a big and scary college full of unfamiliar faces.

As we all sat around the fire circle (that had a definite lack of a fire but filled with plenty of colorful popsicle sticks), we just talked about how great the summer has been. It really has been though, I mean, I've never had a summer like this. I feel like I've grown up but also remained a kid. I've learned a lot of life lessons and become close to a few very special and amazing people whom I WILL remain friends with for the rest of my life. If they happen to read this, yall mean a lot to me. More than you could ever realize! Thank for being such awesome friends! I LOVE YOU ALL!

Well, I guess this marks then end of summer 2009. It's been awesome. Seriously. I wouldn't change one thing about it. Hammocks, pizza making, running, Vitamin Water, swings, parks, EMILYMICAHANNAPERIABBY, roadtrips, MUSIC, random outings, Moe's, water fights, trampolines, sitting on the roof at night, Starbucks, biking, and so many other things....

I'm sorry most of my blog posts are so mooshy, emotional, and sentimental, but that's how my life has been lately.

-Saranade

Goodbye summer 2009....... to be continued next year with awesome friends? I think yes.

"Summer Skin"

Squeaky swings and tall grass
The longest shadows ever cast
The water's warm and children swim
And we frolicked about in our summer skin

I don't recall a single care
Just greenery and humid air
Then Labor day came and went
And we shed what was left of our summer skin

On the night you left I came over
And we peeled the freckles from our shoulders
Our brand new coats so flushed and pink
And I knew your heart I couldn't win
Cause the seasons change was a conduit
And we left our love in our summer skin

My week so far....

*****This post is abnormally long and quite possibly very dull to the reader (a.k.a. Emily). Don't feel like you have to read it if you don't want. It was really just a way for me to think through some things in my head.*****

This week has by far been the most boring this summer. I'm still waiting for something fun to happen. hm. maybe tomorrow....

Although I've been bored out of my mind, I have been very productive this week. I mean, not anything huge, but small things. I have a list that I'm supposed to complete before the end of summer that I've put off doing for a while that I'm finally getting around to doing this week for lack of something better/more interesting to do. Things like college applications and actually taking the time to practice. I told my teacher I'd practice at least 3 or 4 times A WEEK and I have now (as of today), practiced 3 times. Total. She'll kill me. Oh well.

As for the college applications, it's starting to hit my how fast college is coming. Even for my friends moving away this year it just hit my like two days ago that they're really going. Like, in 2 weeks. All summer it has felt so far away and now it's almost here. People I've grown up with all my life are moving away and starting new lives. As excited for them that I am, I'm also being selfish and wishing they'd stay. I know I sound pathetic. I mean, I'll still talk to my friends that are leaving, but I won't see them at school and around town anymore. It's going to be different..... and I don't usually like change so this is going to be a big adjustment. I seriously rely on my friends for a lot. Probably too much actually. Anyway, I sound like an idiot rambling on about people leaving for college. It's not like I'll never see them again.

Anyway, about my own college plans I've been narrowing down the list and I only have about 8 schools on it now, most of which are within a couple of hours of Chattanooga. Lately I've been busy working on my transcript and working on applications which is taking FOREVER. My goal is to have Covenant, Hope, Belmont and Queen's applications submited by the time school starts..... Right now that's not looking likely, but we'll see.

There has been one definite positive thing that has come from this week. This summer I've slacked on reading my Bible and spending time with the Lord. I've spent WAY more time with friends than with Him and I've recently realized what a mistake that has been. I mean, I've read my Bible and prayed this summer, but not NEARLY like I should be. For some reason this week God has really been working on my heart and reminding me to get back in His word.

I find that when I book my schedule all the way during the summer that I spend very little time focusing on Him which is a HUGE mistake. The last couple of weeks especially I've been stressed and irritable. I had been trying to figure out (besides the obvious: college, school, end of summer) why I've been so tense. I still don't know why, but I feel it was God's way to get me back on track. Since the beginning of this week I've been in His word a LOT more and I've felt such a peace that I haven't felt in a couple of weeks. It's amazing how God has been working in my life lately. Nothing that would be obvious to others, but little things in my life have been changed. I'm actually ready for school to start back so I can get back on a schedule reading my Bible and having my time with the Lord more regularly. That has been my biggest mistake this summer, which I didn't realize until this week. Looking back I regret not spending nearly as much time with Him over the last couple of months. I've been wondering how many ways He could have used me this summer..... were there opportunities I missed because I wasn't paying attention to what He wanted for me? I've been so selfish with my time this summer and I wish I could go back and change that. Not that this summer hasn't been good, cause it has been the best one ever (no joke)! But I feel like it could have been so much more than my own selfish pleasures..... I could have been doing something MORE with my free time that I wasted on facebook or organzing beads (yeahhhh....).

So, in conclusion, I guess having a week of nothing has been good for me. God knew that I needed this week of no friends so He could have my full attention to work in my life. As the school year is about to begin, I'm looking forward to seeing what ways He wants to use me in school, church, home, or wherever I am. I'm also excited to see what He has planned for me in the next few years. I have NO idea where he wants me although I feel like it's becoming more clear (there again I'll have to work on listening to what He wants and not what I want). I still have a LONG way to go..... It's not like I'm totally changed over one week, but I feel like this week has been very much needed.

Anyway, I've rambled on enough for now. I didn't write all of this to make it sound like I have it all figured out or that I'm a Super Perfect Christian (for one, those don't even exist). I wrote it mostly for my own sake. Writing things out helps me to think about things and really work through what's in my head. So if this blog post makes absolutely NO sense to you, I'm sorry. Actually, if you've made it this far reading, I'm amazed. haha :)

Until next time,

Saranade

P.S.

Here are a few verses that I have really popped out and spoken to me this week:

"Conduct yourselves wisely toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."

Colossians 4:5-6

(That one REALLY stuck out at me. That's when I realized how much time I've wasted this summer when I could have been doing something productive for Christ.)

"But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and ahve put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peave of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

Colossians 4:8-17

(I'm really going to strive to make my life as much like this passage possible.)

".... so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing in him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God."

Colossians 1:10

"But I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."

Galatians 5:16

"Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

Galatians 6:1b-2

(This verse made me think about how fortunate I am to have Christian friends I can really talk with about the struggles in my life.)

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."

Galatian 6:9-10

So obviously I've spent most of my time studying Colossians and Galatians this week so far. Paul's espitles are some of my favorite books of the Bible. For being such short books they're FULL of instruction and teaching. To me they seem to be some of the deepest books of the Bible.... especially Ephesians which I think I'm going to study again next.

Wow. I can't believe how much I've written this time. Again, It's not necessarily for the reader but more for me to really think through. If you're still reading *cough cough Emily* (cause you're the only one who reads this anyway. hahaha) then I'm impressed. But if you skipped to the end, that's totally fine. I pretty much talked about myself the entire time.

P.P.S.

I really miss my friends. Emily, Anna, Peri-------COME HOME NOW!

Come togetherrrrrr Right nowwwwww

So, this week has acually been pretty slow. I have two weeks and 2 days of summer left so I'm just trying to enjoy it.

Anwyay, Emily left for Texas on Thursday so on Wednesday we got together and did rainy day stuff even though it ended up being sunny..... oh well.

Hm... let's see.... Thursday I stepped in a wasp nest while I was on the phone. That's the second time I've done that but last time it was yellow jackets. I think I was stung 11 times. While it was happening I was jumping around yelling and laughing cause I didn't knwo what to do. I'm sure it was hilarious to watch. haha My foot is still swollen, red, and itchy cause I'm allergic to them. Oh well. haha

Today I think I'm hanging out with my good friend Jacquelyn because she leaves for college in a few days.... :( sadness...

Anyway, I'm off!

OHHHH! EMILY! we jsut found a raccoon that was trapped in our garage and i got a picture of it! I was like: "EMILYYYY!" haha

Alright, goodbye for now! :)